Alexander Eaton Stole My Heart
by SHIP IT SO HARD IT HURTS
Summary: Rebecca Lynn Carson is sick of being pushed around. So she decided she would transfer to Dauntless and show everyone who is boss. Everything is going smoothly until a certain blonde haired and dark blue eyed boy named Alexander Eaton comes into the picture. How will this shy Abnegation deal with this super crush as he sucks her into his world? No war. Jeanies dead. Divergents safe


Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation. Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation. Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation. Those three words echo in my head like a chant. I just took my aptitude test in the morning and I have my classes this afternoon. My body is tense under my baggy grey clothing. Behind me, a group of loud Dauntless kids talk and chatter. Before that stupid aptitude test, I was sure I was going to choose Abnegation. But now I don't know. All I've ever known is Abnegation and I wonder how I would survive without it. I'm perfectly fine and happy here in my grey clothing. But then I look at the Dauntless and feel a sort of longing and want. I rarely want things because that would be selfish but this, its like my body demands it. It must have it. It longs to be like them, brave and free. Then I remind myself that I'm selfless just like my momma and poppa. That there's nothing else to me. Just selflessness.

I hear the distinct ring of the bell and wait for everyone else to leave before I go. It's become a sort of routine now and I wonder if I'll ever be able to deal with change. I start to walk down the stairs when I feel a violent shove and my body roll and tumble down the stairs. Sadly, this also has become part of the routine. I feel the throbbing then the dull numbness that comes along with it. I stay on the ground, knowing they will only kick me to the floor. Its times like these that I wish I was Dauntless. Wish that I was strong and tough, not small and defenseless. I'm mean, come on, all the Erudite do are sit behind books all day, they can't be that strong. But I still don't fight back as the kids in blue beat me blue. And they leave me with my hatred and bruises as reminders that I'm weak and I'll never be anything but a stiff. It times like these that I wonder if I'll be able to survive anymore of this. If eventually they'll beat me so much I'll just break. I eventually stand up and start walking. For me, walking is a sort of medicine. I'll just walk away from it. I walk down the empty streets of the Abnegation sector. Its so quiet and grey. Big grey block buildings. The wind whips violently at me and its bone chilling. A darkness set deep in my bones and I know Jon is home. Jon is my older brother who is eighteen and choose two years ago. He has his own house house in Abnegation but he says he gets too lonely there and that he would rather stay here with all of us. I entered the house and hear the sounds of childish laughter.

" Rebecca!" Abby, my eight year old sister, shouts. She runs up and hugs me. The only people I've ever hugged are my family and I've never touched anyone else. And then my parents have only hugged me once and that was when we thought mom was going to die. But Abby and my other brother who is her twin hug me everyday and I'm used to it. Used to their tiny and skinny arms wrapping around my torso.

" Rebecca!" Trevor shouts running to me and joining in the hug. I wrap my arms around the two of them and hug them tight. I love my family like nothing else. Jon rounds the corner, his electric blue eyes sparkling. There's no mistaking that we are all related. We all have the same pale blonde hair, and electric blue eyes which are mixed with some green so they look like the sea. But to be fair, I don't really know what the sea looks like. I've only heard of it. We all have the same features. Angular faces, high arching cheekbones, and smooth, pale, skin. Unfortunately the girls in the family are all short and the guys are like six foot something. Trevor is already at least half a foot taller than Abby. Its moments like these that I swear that I could stay in Abnegation with Abby, Trevor, and Jon. I will wonder what I would do without my family because I'm sure they are all I will ever need. I lift my head up when I hear noises outside. I share a confused look with Jon and we go to the door and open it. Outside are a pack of tattooed, pierced, and wild Dauntless who are riding what they call a golf cart. I've seen a few officials ride it but no one else. There must be at least ten of them trying to fit on four seats. I wonder why they chose Abnegation when they hit a huge crack in the road and bounce in the air, letting out laughter. Thats when I remember that Abnegation has the most cracks in the road.

**Alec's pov**

I drive the golf cart with dart next to me as we bounce down the road. My twin sister, Dair, sits next to me with Claire squeezed next to her. Hunter is hanging off the back with Charlie on the roof. Everyone except Beth, Jaxon, Julian, and Dakota is choosing tomorrow. Including me. We are all trying to squeeze as much as we can into this one day before we are adults and initiates and whatever. Hunter laughs loudly as we hit a bump and she almost falls off. I share a look with Dair and go faster. We pass a Abnegation grey house and I see a girl with a few people. She looks about sixteen but barely. She was short, maybe even shorter than my mom. She had high cheekbones, long blonde hair, and eyes that made me think that if the sea looked like anything, it looked like her eyes. Her lips were small but plush and her eyebrows were a little darker than her hair making them more visible. Her eyebrows arched high naturally and skin was pale and smooth, creamy. She wasn't like the average pretty girl I'd stare at, she was better. Pretty was too simple of a word to describe her. Pretty was those girls with long dark hair and warm brown eyes. Her features were sharp like a knife yet her eyes were wide with innocence and something else that I can't quite put my thumb on. I remember something I read about art. Art isn't suppose to be pretty, it's suppose to make you feel something. This girl was art. She makes me feel something. I felt my heartbeat flutter and the golf cart swerve out of control.

" Alec!" Dair screamed at me. Only my family calls me Alec. Dair gave me the nickname when she couldn't say Alex with her little tongue tied toddler teeth. Everyone else calls me Alex except for my mom who calls me Alexander.

**later that day at dinner**

I sat in my black wooden chair at the dinner table with Dair across from me. This is going to be one of the last dinners as a family and I'm pretty sure mom is about to cry. Bethany is fourteen and her ceremony is in two years. Beth has dad's dark brown hair but mom's light blue eyes. Charlice is nine and has Dad's looks almost a hundred percent. Dark blue eyes, Dark brown hair, and has most of his features except his nose. No one has dad's nose. Then there is Cassia who is four. We look exactly the same. Dark blue eyes, blonde hair, mom's nose, dad's lips, dad's high cheekbones, and dad's hands. Cassia looks like Dair and I. While I'm a boy and Cassia and Dair are girls. Dair has mom's eyes. Cassia sits to my right with dad to my left and mom next to him. Dair sits next to mom and Beth sits next to her with Charlice sitting next to Beth. We finish dinner and are eating dessert when Dair suddenly grins. Its the kind of grin she gets when she is about to do something very bad and I prefer to stay away from her when that happens. I eye Dair warily when she drops her fork and sits up straighter.

" Mother, Father," Mom and Dad turn their attention to Dair I lean back in my seat. "It seem as though your dearest son has developed a crush." Dair says saying every words clearly and carefully. I groan and sink farther in my seat while it seems as though Charlice and Beth lean closer. Cassia plays happily with her food, too young to understand the concept of crushes.

" Cassia, what do you think of boys?" My mom asked the other day.

" EW! They have booooooooogers!" Cassia had shouted to the whole pit. I remember getting one or two odd looks but it wasn't the weirdest thing that has ever happened.

" Girls." My dad muses. I groan louder and sink further in my chair. Dair starts going on and on about her and how 'I nearly killed them on the golf cart because I was so distracted' the whole time with my face in my hands.

"Was she pretty?" Beth asks. Dair shrugs.

" Not really. Kinda average." Dair says shrugging. I open my eyes and lean forward.

" She wasn't pretty. Your right. She was art. Art isn't suppose to be pretty, its suppose to make you feel something." I say and I realized that I was standing out of my chair. A blush rises across my face. That's another thing I got from my mom. Frequent blushing. " I'm going to put Cassia to bed." I mumble before scooping up a half asleep Cassia. She open her big dark blue eyes for second and looks at me.

" I bet she is a warrior princess." Cassia says before snuggling into my arms. I set her down in her yellow crib.

" She is." I say softly. " She was also a thief because she stole my heart." I say before tucking Cassia in and walking quietly out of her room and shutting the door.

" Son, I think we need to talk." My dad says in his deep breath. I curse and turn around.

" I was hoping to avoid you." I say sheepishly. My dad rolls his eyes and pulls me into my room.

" I'm not going to talk about your crush just you choosing." Dad says and my eyes widen.

" Oh dad you don't have to worry, I'm choosing Dauntless." I said quickly. My dad nodded.

" Choose for yourself not for other people." My dad said. I nod my head. I don't need to think about it. I already know that I'm choosing Dauntless. Technically, I'm divergent which means I could choose Abnegation or Dauntless but there is no way I could be a stiff. I think of how much Dauntless has changed and how it was different when my parents came here. Initiation is still the same but they except thirteen people instead of ten. Divergents aren't a bad thing but you just don't say that you are one. Jeanie was found conspiring with some old Dauntless leaders. They were killed along with Jeanie. My uncle Caleb is the new leader of Erudite. My parents friend Uriah ( but I call him Uncle Uriah) is a new leader of Dauntless along with a few others. Sadly a man named Eric is still alive but no longer a Dauntless leader but helps out with the Transfers initiation along with my dad. My mom is a tattoo artist with Tori. I feel my eyes get heavier and I fall asleep blissfully.

**Rebecca's pov**

My brother cuts my hair as I keep my eyes on the floor. My parents are downstairs cooking dinner. They are never home. Although Its shameful to think so, I wouldn't miss my parents if I left. Maybe I would if they were home more and didn't obviously favor Jon. I taste something sour and bitter in my mouth and immediately swallow it. Jon is gentle and delicate. He moves my hair behinds me ears and looks up into the mirror.

" Rebecca, look up." He says and I slowly lift my eyes off the floor. I meet his gaze in the mirror and stare. " I know you are not cut out for this life. You want to be. You so badly want to be. But I can see it in you. That fire. Just forget about everyone else. For once in your life you have to be selfish. Choose for yourself and not for other people." He whispers this to me and then sets down the scissors and gets up. I look at myself. Really look at myself. Sure this life is kinda boring. But its all I've known. _Wouldn't it be nice to do something different. To feel free. You know you want it. Don't deny it. _A voice in my head whispers. I shake my head trying to get rid of the voice. But it doesn't leave. It gets me wondering. Can I ever really love this life. Can I? Wouldn't I rather long for the adrenaline I've only ever felt a few times? Wouldn't I rather long for the bliss freedom? I nod my head yes slowly. Maybe I'm just afraid. Afraid of change. But maybe I shouldn't be.

I walk down the street with my family. I know what I'm choosing. Dauntless. Sure its scary but I everything in me is craving for something new. I've never noticed it all this time because I've just kept ignoring it. I focus as calmly as possible on walking. Just keep on walking.

**third person pov**

Rebecca arrived at the from on the tallest building in the city with anxiety swarming all around her insides. She enters the lobby with her family and of course she takes the stairs. She's can't help but worry if she will be good enough for Dauntless. If she could do it. She dismisses the thought and keeps on walking. She hugs her parents and hugs her brother. Then when she hugs the twins she whispers something in their ears.

" I'm sorry." She says sincerely. She lets go of their warm embrace and stands in line next to a Erudite boy who teased her and a Dauntless girl. She glares at the Erudite boy and gets in her place in line. The dauntless girl next to her turns to her hesitantly.

" Hi, I'm Hunter." The girl says. She had long dark brown hair, caramel skin, and celery green eyes.

" Hi." Rebecca said quietly. Hunter looked at the girl closely and saw that this is the girl that Dair had said Alex liked.

" So what are you choosing?" Hunter asked. Rebecca shrugged in response and turned away, letting her eyes fall to the floor. Rebecca looked at the crowd and say a tall blonde boy with Dark blue eyes hug a women with matching blonde hair and light blue eyes. They were both Dauntless. The boy pulled back and met Rebecca's eye. He had captivating eyes like two pools of midnight ink. She held his gaze and felt warmth and tingles spread all over her cheeks. He blushed as red as her. She bite her lip to keep from grinning and looked down. My lord his lips and cheekbones and nose! Rebecca thought. He gave her a warm feeling like biting into a chocolate chip cookie. Although Rebecca has never had one. Alex practically skipped up in line to his sister, his cheeks still slightly pink. Dair looked at him momentarily before looking away. She figured he was in his own world now.

**Rebecca's pov.**

I know I'm going to be one of the last ones because my last name is Carson and we are going in reverse alphabetical order. The ceremony moved slowly and by the time it got to the Hunter girl in front of me, I was bouncing on the balls of my feet. The girl Hunter choose Dauntless and went to the side of the boy I was looking at earlier along with another boy and few other girls. The world seemed to slow down. I could hear my breathing in my ears, I could feel my heart threatening to jump out of my throat, and my footsteps pounding in my ear. I take the blade from Caleb Prior, leader of Erudite. The handle is black and the black is silver, glinting in the light. Taking a deep breath I slide it across my palm, wincing.

**Alex's pov**

Apparently, everyone knows of my crush on the Abnegation girl. Hunter goes up and smoothly cuts herself before spilling her blood on the coals. The Dauntless cheer loudly for her and I realize that the Abnegation girl is next. She takes a deep breath and makes her way up the stand with confidence. She stands up in front of everyone and takes the knife. She looks at it for a second before she slides it across her palm, wincing. She looks at all the bowls in front of her while cradling her hand. Bright crimson drops spring across her palm. She turns her back on the Abnegation bowl and I hear a few people gasp. By now, my friends are looking at her too. The Dauntless flames dance in her eyes. Its funny how the sea and flames are in her eyes. Like a perfect balance. She holds her hands over the coals and a drop of her blood falls and it sizzles on the coals. I thought that maybe the flames would die a little. But, If anything, they grew brighter. She looks up at her new faction and makes her way to us. No one claps for her. She bites her lip and looks down at the ground. Its odd to see other colors among our black. There was Candor and Erudite but they didn't stand out as much as the Red and Yellow and Grey. One Amity and a Abnegation. The ceremony finished up and the Dauntless start shouting.

**Rebecca's pov**

I lift my head up when I hear the Dauntless start to shout. I swear I felt eyes burning into me and I turned around to see if I could find them but failed and turned right back around. I turned to see the twins giving me thumbs up, Jon grinning, and my parents looking confused. Of course they would look confused. Maybe if they had known me better they would understand why I left. I feel people start to push forward and I make a small sound of surprise. They start running and I run after them. The sound of fifty pairs of feet slapping against the floor fills my ear and I see some Dauntless mixed with transfers and Dauntless born are here. I'll just follow them. I take off, running faster. I weave my way through people and smile a little. We come up to the stairs and they keep running down them. Its not a selfless act. Its a wild act. I follow them, having gone up and down these stairs hundreds of times for celebrations and ceremonies. I practically know where every broken step and crack is with my eyes closed. I practically skip down the steps, jumping over a few, and manage not to fall. I let myself laugh a little sometimes. I see the boy that I stared at earlier ahead of me. I sprint faster feeling my lungs burn and legs ache. It was pain. But It was good pain. The kind that made you push through and go faster and faster. I run past him and burst out the doors. I've seen the Dauntless do this before. Jump on and off trains. I just never imagined myself doing this. I watch as the Dauntless run alongside it before pulling themselves in. I see a few of the Dauntless born swiftly pull themselves on while laughing. The transfers stare for a minute and I share a look with the Erudite girl on my left. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks it crazy. I see the Amity girl struggle but pull herself in cheering with the Candor boy next to her. I start running, realizing that soon it'll be too late. The Erudite girl next to me runs after me too. I look down the line and see a place where you can jump on coming. I start running and see the handle coming. I grab on it and try to pull myself in. I'm instead hanging by the handles over fast moving land. My shoulder slams into the side of the train and I bite down on my lip. My shoulder repeatedly slams into it and I scream through gritted teeth. I pull my foot up, stretching my skirt, and get my foot inside the train. I hike up my other foot and pull myself up with the little arm strength I have. I swing myself inside the train and turn around to see the Erudite girl still running next to the train but she was going to miss her chance. I grabbed ahold of her arm and hauled her inside making us both sprawl out on the train car floor. She looks at me with wide eyes.

" Thank you." She says.

" Your welcome. Are you okay?" I ask.

" Am I okay? You're the one who slammed into the train repeatedly before amazingly pulling herself in." The girl Emma said awe. I shrug, lifting my arms up.

" No much to pull. I'm not very tall or very wide." I say shrugging like 'what can you do?'.

" That was impressive." She says nodding her head.

" Thanks." I answer. I move my hands up to my hair where it was pulled back tightly. I pull out pins and let my hair fall down past my shoulders, remembering how Jon cut it this morning. I let out a sigh of relief. I was sure that If my hair was up like that any longer, it was going to pull the skin off my face. Emma was a tall and thin, with a little muscle. Her eyes were electric blue and she had long straight blonde hair similar to my own. Large, square glasses sit on her nose that suit her features. Full lips, narrow eyes, and thin nose. She had a willowy kind of look to her.

" Do you actually need your glasses?" I ask. She sighs.

" Sadly, yes. I have the worst vision." She says leaning against the train wall. Her and I were the only ones in the car. I'm pretty sure we were the last ones to get on. I think everyone got on the train. Adrenaline runs through my veins and it feel thick, thicker than blood. We must be at least seven stories up and I feel the wind pound against my face. I see people start to jump off onto a building up ahead.

" Emma! Look." I say and Emma gets up, standing next to me. She pales and frowns.

" I can't do that! I'm terrified of heights!" Emma says and starts to breath heavily. I shake my head and look at her.

" You're not afraid of heights, your afraid of falling. Which you won't, trust me." I say softly.

" How do you know?" Emma asks, her voice wavering.

" I just do." I say shrugging. " Just pretend you're a bird." I say.

" A bird." Emma mutters. Our turn in coming up and I push Emma. She stumbles a bit before jumping.

" A bird." I shout grinning.

" A bird!" She shouts back. I start running and take off. I jump and stumble, landing on my knees. I stand up and brush the rocks out of my skin. I look up to see a man about thirty staring at me. I stare back for a minute. He had pale skin, brown hair and brown eyes. I walk to join the rest of the group and he turn to face us.

" My name is Zack. I am one of the leaders of Dauntless. You have jumped on and off trains, basic things that you need to know. Now this is the next test. You must jump off this roof and into that hole." He says calmly before stepping back. A kid with dark brown hair and eyes and bronze skin runs up and takes his clothes off. I cover my eyes with my hands.

" What is he doing?" Emma asks horrified.

" I don't know and I don't want to see it." I mutter back. No one would do something like this in Abnegation. I hear laughter.

" YOLO." The kid shouts before jumping off.

" You can open your eyes now." Emma says and I remove my hands, staring at the edge wide eyed.

" So what do I have to do? Just jump?" I ask.

" Well yeah but you don't know if there is anything at the bottom." Emma says quietly.

" Okay." I say shrugging before I start running.

" Wait!" Emma shouts but I'm already jumping off the ledge. I jump and feel the thick adrenaline in my blood. My baggy grey clothes whip around my body as I fall into the darkness. I close my eyes feeling the bitter wind biting into me all around. I open my eyes before I land on some kind of bouncy net only to jump back up. I fly pretty high because of my size. A small gasp escapes my mouth as I land back into the net, practically swallowing me whole. I see hands reach out to me and choose a random one. A strong arm pulls me off and land on the floor. I'm met with a familiar pair of dark blue eyes and dark brown hair.

" What's your name?" The man asks, his voice deep. I hesitate. I don't know why. Maybe because after all I've been through, Rebecca doesn't seem right. " Choose wisely. You could be remade here." I think. Something close to Rebecca. Not Becca. Its too common. Bec? No. Bex? yeah, I like Bex.

" Bex." I say simply. The man nods and I see the boy who jumped standing with a towel wrapped around his waist next to a man who looks just like him.

" Told you he would do it!" The man that looks like the boy boasts. The man that caught me shakes his head. " So has the second jumper come yet?" The man that looks like the boy asks. The man that caught me points to me. The man that looks like the boy walks over to me. He bends down so he's eye level with me. " She's so tiny!" He shouts. " Like Tris tiny! Hi! I'm Uriah, one of the leader's of Dauntless! Who are you?" He asks sticking his hand out. I look at his hand confused. Why is he giving me his hand? What do I do with it? " Why isn't she shaking my hand, Four?" Uriah asks looking back at the man who caught me. Four? That's a weird name. Actually, is not the weirdest thing here. Perhaps it was the streaking naked boy who JUMPED OFF A BUILDING. That's when I realize it. I just jumped off a building. I just jumped off a building! My eyes widen and I think of how I felt when I did it. It was amazing. Like flying. The boy with the towel comes up and leans into my face. I lean back and I he is so close to me that I can see every pore on his face. He seems to be inspecting me but I don't even know why and I'm not going to try to know at this point.

" Stiff." He says frowning before leaning back and walking away. What was that? I shake my head and hear a bloodcurdling scream. A blur of blue lands in the net. Emma. Her glasses are a little out of place on her nose and she looks disoriented. The man, Four, helps her off the net. She tells him her name and gets off.

" Emma!" I shout. She comes over to me smiling.

" That was a lot of fun." She says grinning.

" I know, it was like….flying." I say breathless just thinking about it.

" Oh and you never told me your name." Emma says sheepishly.

" My name is Bex." I say calmly.

" Bex." She says like she's testing it out. " I'm guessing that wasn't your real name. But I like it. I guess it suits you somehow." Emma says slowly. I nod. The Amity girl falls down next, laughing. She climbs out of the net and tells Four her name before looking around. She seems to be almost surveying it. She comes up to me.

" I've only met a stiff once in my life and they said like nothing. I thought they were acting. Are stiffs really that….stiff?" The Amity girl asks. I've met plenty of Amity in my life and none of them are like this. Most of them are so sweet and one on them was quiet but this one. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I stare at her awkwardly and she stares evenly back and me. She stands up straighter since she has to bend to become eye level with me.

" Are they all are really stiff." The girl says.

" Um, don't mean to be rude but, who are you?" Emma asks.

" My name is Mercedes." The Amity girl says sticking out her hand. Emma wraps her hand around Mercedes's and shakes it. I stare at it puzzled. Why would grab her hand and shake it? I shake my head and notice more people falling down, quicker now. Emma chats with Mercedes as I watch a Candor boy get off and go up to Mercedes. Mercedes introduces him as August and continues to chat with Emma. August joins in sometimes but most of the time remains silent. Mercedes has golden dark blonde hair and green, blue, and grey eyes. She is tall and lean with some muscle on her. August has golden hair that falls into his eyes which are amber, and freckles dot his cheeks. He has muscle, that I'm sure of, a lot more than me and that is pretty obvious. I assume Mercedes and him are really good friends but nothing more. I notice groups already forming. There are two Erudite in one group, boy and girl. Then in another group two candor and one Erudite, one girl and two boys. I guess I'm in a group with Emma, August, and Mercedes. I walk to the side of our little group, kinda of like their shadow. But that's okay, I don't mind. I've always been the shadow. Even in my family. It was always Jon in the center and I've grown to be okay with that. I think of Abby and Trevor, their smiling faces. The thought makes a small smile dance on my lips. I see the Dauntless born slip into their groups and notice how when the boy I was staring at grins when he see's Four. They look alike. That's where I've seen those eyes from!The boy must be his son! There was another girl too who looked like the boy but she had light blue eyes. She must be his twin.

" Alright!" The man Four shouts in a commanding voice. Conversation ceases and all eye's turn to him. " I'm will be the transfer's instructor for the next month or so! My name is Four!" He shouts at us. I flinch once at the volume of his voice. I see a few people raise eyebrows but say nothing. " I will give you a tour of Dauntless! The Dauntless Born with go with Julia because you don't need a tour of the place!" Four smirks and we start walking. He explains places as we go. The walls are made of rock. I notice the way the rocks are and how they have a bit of jagged edges. We come to a place called the pit. Its a huge dome like room with a glass roof so I see to the outside. There are all kinds of shops and things there but they are a bit odd. He shows us the rest of the faction before he starts explaining initiation. The man Four doesn't look to old but he has sixteen year old kids so he has to be in like his thirties yet he looks like mid twenties.

" There are three stages of training. First is physical, second is mental, and third is emotional. To ensure that we give Dauntless the best, we only except thirteen of the transfers and Dauntless born." Four says deadly calm. I see eyes widen and hear a gasp but no one says anything. How am I going to beat the transfers and Dauntless born! How? I grit my teeth together and hope that training can work a miracle. We head to the cafeteria to get something to eat and once we open the doors, I am met with the sound of clapping and cheering. The Dauntless hoot and cheer for us transfers. After all, they've never seen us before. I guess we offer something new and fresh to Dauntless.

" Why are they clapping? We are literally a group of nine sixteen year olds. Nothing they haven't seen before." August says and I grin.

" We offer something new and fresh to Dauntless?" Emma suggests.

" More like fresh meat. We'll be picked apart here before we know it. They're like vulchers." Mercedes says shrugging. We all raise an eyebrow at her and she just shrugs in response. Suddenly I hear a young childs voice.

" Daddy!" A little girl screams. A little girl with long blonde hair in two pigtails and big navy blue eyes runs up to Four. He picks her up and lifts her in the air. I can see the family resemblances. Same lips, eyes, and fingers. They both have long, elegant fingers.

" Is that Four's daughter?" Mercedes asks, jaw dropped. We stand by the table staring. His daughter is cute and her eyes are so big! Ah! I just want to hug her and never let her go. A women goes up that looks like the the little girl. She has the same hair, nose, and angular face. But its hard to see that on the little girl since she looks so little. Four, maybe? Haha, Four. Then two girls with brown hair scamper up to them too and join. I see two of the blonde Dauntless borns the one cute boy and his twin go up too. They look like the perfect family. "He has a family!?" Mercedes asks.

" Did you think he was going to stay single all his life because he can scare people to death?" August asks.

" No but," Mercedes starts then reluctantly sits down. I sit next to Emma and August and Mercedes sit across from us. There is a huge table with a bunch of people there and thats were Four and his wife and his kids are. The twins take off to their own table with their friends. There is food at the table and I stare at it.

" What's wrong? Eat." Mercedes says. I look closer. It looks like two pieces of bread with meat stuck in between it. Mercedes picks up one and puts this red stuff and I think cheese on it.

" What is that?" I ask with wide eyes.

" Hamburger. You've never had one?" Mercedes asks with wide eyes.

" Abnegation eat frozen foods. Things like oatmeal, chicken, and peas." Emma says nodding her head before picking up her own….hamburger?

" Indulgence is considered selfish." I explain. " So how do I eat it?" I ask.

" You take one and put things you like in between it." Emma explains. I pick one up, pinching it between my fingers. I put that red stiff and cheese between it before I take a bite. Flavor and juiciness explode in my mouth. I chew it and swallow.

" No wonder you left." Mercedes says shaking her head.

" Yeah because I'm totally here for the food." I answer sarcastically. August snorts and Mercedes glares at him. I see a Dauntless born girl coming our way and I look at her closely. Tight, black clothes, piercings along her ears, tattoos sticking out from beneath her clothes. She has a muscles on her body and long strawberry blonde hair. Her eyes are a dark brown and she walks with confidence. I set my hamburger down. Mercedes looks behind her when she notices someone is coming, swallows, and sets her burger down. Everyone else follows and looks at the girl coming toward. August raises an eyebrow and me and I shrug. The girl comes to us and scoots in next to August.

" Hello! I hope you don't mind me sitting here." She says before grabbing a burger and loading things onto it. " So while I do this why don't you guys introduce yourselves to me.

" My name is Bex." I say breaking the silence.

" That's your name?" August asks. I nod and Mercedes hits his arm. " Well she didn't say it or talk that much!" He protest.

" It's alright. You don't read minds, how are you suppose to know." I answer shrugging.

" Well I'm Emma" Emma says smiling.

" I'm Mercedes." Mercedes says stuffing food in her mouth.

" And I'm August." August says smiling.

" I'm Claire." the Dauntless born girl grinning. " Let's swap knowledge. I tell you about Dauntless and in turn you tell me about your factions." Claire suggests and we nod.

" Oh! Can Bex go first? I've always wondered what Abnegation was like." Emma says smiling.

" Okay." I say. " My clothes are large, grey, and baggy. I lived in a small, grey, house with only a few windows. My breakfast was oatmeal and I only ate frozen foods because we gave all our fresh foods to the factionless. I spent my free time giving supplies to the factionless or tutoring kids from school. I'm not allowed to run, If someone were to start harassing me I couldn't fight back, there is only one mirror in my house. Its located in the attic behind a panel. I use it on the second day of every third month to cut my hair. I don't know when my birthday is only that it happens sometime in the fall. My parents were never home always working or helping people out. My older brother, Jon, is eighteen and an Abnegation. I have two younger siblings. Abby and Trevor. They are twins. I love them to death and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them." I say explaining things about my life.

" Interesting." Emma says.

" No mirror!" Mercedes shouts. " How are you suppose to do your makeup?" She asks.

" What's that?" I ask. Mercedes groans.

" You don't know when your birthday is!" August shouts.

" No, I know it could happen in the next couple months or it could've just happened." I answer. " But I'm sure if we looked at the documents from my birth we could find out." I say.

" Okay lets do it." August says.

" They're in Abnegation." I say biting my lip. For the rest of lunch we talk and chat.

" Bye!" Claire says walking off.

" We should totally go shopping. I mean, we all have the day off and we can't train in these clothes. Especially Bex." Mercedes says grinning.

" Okay." Emma and August said at the same time.

" Fine." I say frowning.

" Yes!" Mercedes said grabbing ahold of my hand with August and Emma trailing behind. "First store is 'Boxers and Bra's'" Mercedes says.

" No! No, no, no, no, no." I say planting my feet. Emma and August stroll right past use and into the store. It has a glass front and a sign in bright letters ' BOXERS & BRAS'.

"Oh come on! Please!" Mercedes begs.

" What if someone see's me in there!"

" Who cares! You're a human being! You need undergarments! Now lets go!" Mercedes says before pulling me inside. I frown let myself be pulled in. I sit in a chair while Mercedes goes up to the store clerk so I can get measured. She hands me a measurement tool and a marker.

" Measure yourself around the chest and bust without your clothes on. Go on into the dressing room." I sigh but follow her orders. I do the measurements then take them to the lady.

" Hun, you were wearing bras too small for you. I don't know how because you clearly are bigger but its okay." The store lady says and I blush furiously while Mercedes laughs. She finds out my bra size and smiles.

" We're the same bra size!" She says smiling.

" Oh joy!" I say while hiding my face in my hands.

" I'm gonna shop for you m'kay?" Mercedes says running off.

" Knock yourself out." I sigh. Twenty minutes later Mercedes comes back, her arms full of undergarments. " Great thats yours, now where's my stuff?" I ask. She grins evilly and slowly shake her head.

" That's for me?" I ask gulping. She nods and shoves me in the stall. I let my eyes avoid the mirror. I'm so used to not seeing myself it's actually kinda weird. I look at the pile and pick up one of them. I'll start with the bad ones. I pick up the hot pink ones with pink poodle's. I slip into the bra and underwear and look at it on me without the mirror. " There's no way I'm getting this!" I shout at Mercedes. I hear a laugh and another one. Probably August.

" Let me see!" Mercedes calls.

" No!" I shout.

" I'll go get you more!" She shouts back.

" Fine." I mumble opening the door. My cheeks blush a bright as August takes one look at me before bursting out laughing. " I'm not getting it." I mumble before going back and trying on more, August getting a kick out of each and every one. I get to a leopard print lined with lace and stand outside. On the butt in bright pink block letters it says 'KITTY'. I stand outside and August laughs so hard he falls over.

" I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You look…." He burst out laughing again. " Good." He sputters and continues laughing again.

" Remind me again why I'm doing this." I tell Mercedes.

" Because you need underwear and its fun!" Mercedes says smiling.

" You have a very odd definition of ' Fun'." I say frowning.

" Hey look! There's Claire!" Mercedes says and sure enough when I look out the glass window I see Claire, that girl Hunter, a bunch of other kids, and that cute boy I saw. My stomach flutters as I see his face light up with a smile. " HEY! CLAIRE! OVER HERE!" Mercedes shouts and I hide behind the door so the group in front of the glass can't see me. If It was possible, my cheeks turned even redder. I swear, my cheeks burned so much, I was gonna get a sunburn.

" Mercedes whatever whatever get over here!" I call out as she strode to the front of the store. I look at August with wide panicked eyes.

" Mercedes Marissa Mandy." August supplies.

" MERCEDES MARISSA MANDY IF YOU DON'T GET OVER HERE I SWEAR…." I shout at Mercedes. She just waves me away with her hand. My eyes lock with dark blue eyes and I must be flat out firetruck red. " I'm going to hide." I mutter.

" Good choice." August says grinning. I lock myself in the dressing room and hear the group enter the store from the loud voices.

" Oh Bexy! We have visitors!" Mercedes says in a sing-song voice. I groan and press my forehead against the cool, white, dressing room door.

" I'm getting back in my clothes!" I shout.

" Oh no you're not! I have your bra! She shouts. I stack the two brown push chairs on top of each other and climb on top of them. My head just peeks over the top. I meet several eyes. The weird boy who jumped first, Claire, Hunter, the boy with the gorgeous eyes, and his assumed twin. Oh and August and Mercedes. August gives me a look like 'what can you do' and Mercedes is grinning. I'm surprised to find the boy with pretty eyes blushing. Mercedes grins at me and I frown in response. My eyes bulge at the sight of my plain grey bra dangling from her fingertips. I hop off my pile of chairs, my feet making a soft thud against the carpet.

" What do you want?" I groan, leaning against the door.

" Come out and introduce yourself." She says simply. I groan. " Oh come on!" She says dragging out the words. " Don't be so stiff." She says like she complaining. Stiff. That's right, I'm Abnegation. So much can change in a mere two hours. What would my family think of me. I look at myself in the mirror. These clothes just feel so weird. Here I am wearing these clothes and looking at myself in the mirror. Its odd. But the oddest thing is that it feels normal. Almost natural. I slip into my skirt and wrap myself up in my robe, not bothering to put on a shirt. I open the door slowly and realize just how small I am, just how short I am. I always knew I was small. My mother called me petite.

" Okay so you know Claire. This is Charlie." Mercedes gestures to the boy who jumped first. " Hunter. Dair." She points to the girl who I thought was the boy with pretty eyes twin. "and Alec or Alex. Dair and Alec are twins." Mercedes explains.

" I'm Bex." I say simply. " Well I'm going to go back in there and….you know….well bye." I say with an awkward wave and hurriedly rush back into the dressing room. I think that is positively the worst way to meet your crush. Mercedes says she wouldn't make me try on anymore if I bought two of the funky ones. I got the leopard and poodles. I also got plain bras and sports bras before paying. I'm back in my Abnegation underwear and clothes. They feel different. Like they are just too small for me.

" Okay! So me, Emma, Dair, Claire, and Hunter are going to give Bex a makeover while you guys do whatever guys do." Mercedes says putting a finger to my lips so I can't protest. I cross my eyes and look at Mercedes finger. I hear someone laugh and I look up to see Alec laughing. A small dimple appears on his right cheek and his lips pull back to reveal perfect straight, white, teeth. Ugh, why does he have to be so perfect! I shake myself out of my daze and Mercedes is pulling me toward a store. " Okay! You can take it off as soon as I'm done if you want but just please let me do what I do." She pleads at me, making her eyes bigger. I nod my head reluctantly. The world becomes a blur of shoes, clothes, and dresses. I got workout clothes and pajamas while Mercedes grabs dresses. Soon I'm standing in strappy black heels, a black lace skater dress, and black leather jacket. I have something called eyeliner on my eyes, giving me the cat eye effect making my eyes look narrower, marcara, and bright red lipstick. I look at myself in the mirror and I stare in awe. this isnt me. This is a confident young woman.

" Okay lets go show the boys!" Mercedes says clapping her hands. I hold onto Hunter and Emma since I can't walk in these shoes. I trip and stumble while Emma and Hunter practically drag me to the pit.

" I think I can walk now." I say halfway to the pit. The let go but are in arms reach. I take one step, then another, and then another. Some steps I wobble a little but I watch Mercedes walk in her heels. Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe. I grab my arm and look down at the floor where I walk in my heels. This is all so….new and unfamiliar. I watch my pale feet walk down the street and I become deep in thought. Everything here is louder and bolder where I'm just neither of those things. I'm not covered in piercings and tattoos and my hair isn't dyed some funky color. _But that's not what makes us Dauntless. _Something inside of me says. _We have been through a lot and it teaches us a few things. While Abnegation would choose to hide theirscars, we Dauntless choose to wear them as badges. We like to show off who we are and what we do because we are proud of ourselves and we should be. _that voice inside of me says. The voice is firm and strong, radiating confidence. I notice how it speaks of how Abnegation as past tense and how it acts as though it was never a part of it. But it will always be a part of me. Whether I like it or not. It is one of my many scars that have been marked into my soul and that's not something that you can ignore. My hands run themselves through my soft, wavy, blonde hair. It still smells of the soap. Like freshness and citrus. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Too much. Too much thinking. Too many thoughts racing through my heads like trains, desperate to get somewhere. I let my hands fall to my sides and clench and unclench them.

" Bex, are you okay?" Emma asks with concern clear in her voice. " you look a little pale." I felt sick and dizzy. My stomach churned. I clenched my teeth and pressed my eyes close. I try to breath through my nose but it felt like I wasn't getting any oxygen at all. My vision started to blur and darken at the edges. I gasped trying to suck in air. Everyone else was looking at me too, I think it was confusion on their faces and alarm but my brain seemed to be in panic mood. My knees wobbled and buckled. I pressed my eyes closed and held my breath, waiting to hit the floor, but I never did. Warm, strong, hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me up. And it was like fog clearing from my mind. My vision became clearer, my breath returned to me, and my body had a surge of strength.

" Are you okay?" I hear a male voice ask me. I turn around and meet beautiful dark blue eyes. Instantly, my breathing quickens, my knees wobble, and my tongue seems to be lodged in my throat.

" Um, I don't know, can I just kinda lean on you, I think I need a drink of water." I answer in a quiet voice. My body comes down from whatever high it was on and I feel drained, weak. I lean on him as we stumble to the cafeteria. He was warm and just so….huggable yet had this dangerous, mysterious aura about him. He was tall too, six foot something while his sister in the other hand was kinda short. I'm more than just kinda short. I'm very short. The entire time he had his arm wrapped around me, supporting me, but while my body was weak, my mind was in heaven. He was like an angel. Even through the fabric of my clothing his touch felt like a slow and warm fire spreading all over me. We make it to the cafeteria and I sit down at the table I sat down in before. I see a few people run to get me water as I clasp my shaking hands and breath. The boy- no wait, he wasn't a boy, he was a man- Alec, leaned down in front of me. He had thick eyebrows, thin nose, high, defined, cheekbones, and a full lower lip with a spare upper lip. He was beyond attractive, he was downright gorgeous. Why would a man like him want a small girl like me? I stare at my lap, ignoring his look of concern.

" Are you okay?" He ask. I watch my hands fiddle in my lap. I look up at him with a soft smile plastered on my face.

" Yeah, I'm fine. What about you?" I answer. It was trained into my brain to say that. It was trained into my brain to say ' yeah, I'm fine. What about you?' even though you weren't. Even though you may feel like you're bleeding on the inside. Even though every breath, every movement, just _hurts. _Hurts like a pain you've never felt before. Where every breath you feel like you're choking on tears, and every thought seems to tear and rip you apart. Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be alright. I miss them. Abby and trevor. And Jon. I miss Abby's smile with the gaps in between her teeth because they are falling out. I miss trevor's mischievous smile and the twinkle in his eyes. I miss Jon's comfort and warmth. God, I miss them so much.

" I'm fine, you're not. What's wrong?" He demands and I'm momentarily startled.

" Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. I'm perfect. In fact, I'm on top of a roller coaster that only goes up." I answer firmly. He looks at me deeply in the eye and I start back evenly. After a second, he sighs and walks away. He walks away and I my body screams for him back. No! Come back! part of me shouts. I really don't know what's wrong with my brain today. I shake my fiercely and the Charlie kid comes over to me.

" Dude, what are you doing? You're freaking me out a little." He says warily and I suppress a smile. I'm freaking me out a little.

" Nothing. Let's do something fun." I suggest. I just need to forget. Forget my family. Forget the boy with the dark blue eyes. Just forget everything. Charlie grins.

" Finally! A sane person here! Follow me." He says grinning. I eagerly get up, stumbling a bit. I walk after him, weaving through the crowd. He glances back at me a couple times, grinning and we walk up to a place called Roxy's roller skates and roller blades. "This is called roller skating. I'm assuming you've never done it before." I shake my head and he gets them on my feet. They're like boot but with wheels on the bottom. He demonstrates and follow after him. Good thing I'm a fast learner. I glide with ease and spread my arms, chasing after Charlie. I move smoothly and I grin. I race after him, my heart pounding. I race down the long, and narrow paths, letting myself forget the height. I only remember the fact that I could die if I move just the little bit. It sends adrenaline racing through me and my heart pounding. I zoom after Charlie. Charlie stops short and I stop after him. A man with greasy dark hair and piercings all over his face glowers at me.

"You're not suppose to be here Charlie. Figures that its you and the stiff. They always left a bad taste in my mouth." The man says bitterly. I don't know what made me, maybe the adrenaline, but I raise my eyebrows at him.

" Maybe its all that metal on your lip, that would make anyone gag." I answer shrugging. He sneers.

' What do you know, you're just a stiff." I recognize him. Eric. Faction trailer.

" Why should I treat you with respect. As far as I KNOW you're a faction traiter." I say smiling sweetly. There is a pause and silence before Charlie speaks up.

" Well Eric, it's been absolutely dandy meeting you again we have to go so….see ya." Charlie says with a waves before racing off. I follow after him but not before I hear some unsettling words.

" I'd watch your back stiff. You don't mess with me."

I sigh. I hate how he tries to shove other people down. He was probably bullied as a child and now he tries to do the same to other people. Of course he would choose the transfers. Charlie picks up a huge radio at one pointed and blares music as we go. Its called 'Shower' and its an old song but people sing along as we roll by. They hold up their drinks to us and we grin back. I love the song. I could feel the music pump through me and I didn't hear it much back at Abnegation. My hands high five people and fist bump them as Charlie does the same. We serve through groups of people and everything just feels good. The song changes to ' Really Don't care' by a lady named Demi Lovato. A group girls in tight clothes skates by us and flirts with Charlie. The grab onto my arms and talk to me. At one point, they offer me a red cup.

" What's that?" I ask.

" Beer. Try some." A blonde says. Alcohol. I take the cup, feeling daring and take big gulp. It burns down my throat and feels warm in my tummy.

" mmmm yummy." I say grinning. They all laugh as we talk. " I really don't care!" We shout along with the song. They talked and talked with me and I drank some more. I felt light, like a cloud. I bounced my head and danced with the girls. The music got louder and things got harder. We walked into this place where people talked and danced. There were flashing lights and I remember one girl, Macey, was super sweet. She was tall with blonde hair, not play like mine. Her eyes were a flashing green and her hair was streaked with red. Still in my skates I danced my heart out. Eventually some time at night I guess. Charlie came over to me with wide eyes.

" You're drunk." He states.

" No I'm not." I protest, pouting. I felt funny. Whooooooooo.

" Yes you are. Oh god, everyone is going kill to me." Charlie says running his hand through his dark hair.

" No! I don't wanna stop the feeling! It feels good." I say smoothly. Words flowed out of my mouth. " I just wanna forget. I just wanna forget. And I forgot. And it feels so good." I say dancing to the music and running my hands through my hair. Charlie's eyes widen.

" What did you wanna forget." He asks slowly. I make a face. I wonder if my face looks funny.

" I forgot." I answer grinning like I'm sharing a secret. " That's the point silly." I say ruffling his hair. I dance to the music, letting the alcohol run through my veins. Everything felt sharper and more intense.

" Bex we have to go." Charlie says with his eyebrows knitted together. I giggle, thinking he looks silly.

" No! I don't wanna go! I'm having fun!" I complain. I shove a drink in his face. " Loosen up! Have some fun!" He looks at me and sighs.

" Just a little." I giggle and clap my hands. Soon, just a little gets a whole new meaning. We stumble around and dance to the music letting it fuel us. " This is sooooo fun!" Charlie shouts.

" I know!" I giggle. We skate around and I think I see someone I know. " Hey! Charlie! Is that Alex, Mercedes, Claire, Hunter, Dair, Emma, and August?" I ask pointing to them. Charlie's face lights up.

" Yeah! Let's go greet them!" Charlie says grinning and I giggle. We skate up to them and around them.

" Bex! Where have you been?" Mercedes says with wide eyes.

" Where have I been? I've been having fun! Where have you been?" I ask giggling. Mercedes eyes widen.

" Your drunk. She's drunk. Charlie!" Mercedes shouts.

" Yes my love." He answers and I giggle.

" Oh great, he's drunk too." Mercedes sighs. " You have to go now."

" No! Not fair! I'm having fun! If you want me to go with you you'll have to catch me!" I shout before taking off. I weave in and out and I see Alex is chasing me with Claire and Hunter behind him. I giggle and grin. This is going to be fun! I go as fast as I can, weaving elegantly and gliding in between people. I race away from them and enjoy the music, picking up another drink on the way. I dance about as I run and suddenly feel strong arms lock around my waist.

" You're not going anywhere." Alex says under his breath. Claire and Hunter catch up to us. I turn in his arms so I'm facing him. I reach up and play with a lock of his hair.

" Your pretty." I slur out and rest my head against his chest. He's so warm. " Now lets dance!" I say struggling in his arms.

" No you're going to bed." He mumbles. I pout at him and he gives me a look. Oh my, his eyes, they are sooooooo pretty!

" Fine." I pout. " But only if you carry me." I say grinning.

" Okay." He says and sweeps me up bridal style. I hum the song, "i really don't care' as he carries me and we meet up and I see Charlie being restrained.

" He's becoming sober." Dair says looking at him. " Charlie! What the heck were you thinking?" Dair shouts and I cover my ears with my hands. She's loud. I rest my head against Alex's chest and laugh when it vibrates as he speaks.

" This one was hard to catch." Alex says and I giggle in his arms. I'm like a princess and he's my prince. My prince.

" Wow, I've never seen her act like this. Nothing like the abnegation girl." Mercedes says with wide eyes.

" I'm tired!" I shout and they all cover their ears. I grin and they uncover them. Charlie looks at me, smiling slightly.

" You know when you're buzzed and she's drunk, she can be very persuasive." Charlie says grinning. Dair shakes her head and pulls him out of the room. We make it to the pit and I look up to see darkness littered with Glitter. The stars shine like lights is the night as I look up. I close my eyes and a feeling of peace washes over me. Its cool and refreshing and I smile. I'm laid down in my bunk bed and everything in my body feels heavy. A darkness washes over my and I sink into the mattress.


End file.
